Kevin called on Friday night and is pretty sure that there will be no advance party return from this deployment. I am mad at the world with this information. This means he will miss my due date by one week. This means that during the window of dates that he is supposed to be home, I will likely be up in Chapel Hill for the orientation for the Principal Fellows Program. It means that two out of my three kids will be born without their daddy here. It means that through this entire deployment, the one thing I held onto as my way of getting through it all was the fact that he'd be home in time for the baby. It also means that I will be dealing with the stress of figuring out how to have the kids at the homecoming still without me, the possibility of my mom having to come out twice depending on when the baby decides to come, and of course, going through labor and delivery of our last baby without my husband!
It was not a "wonderful weekend" at our house. I have been upset and annoyed and the boys have been wild and crazier than ever. I have lost my patience several times and just wanted to run into my room, shut the door and let daddy handle them...but we have about two and a half months left before that will happen.
Don't tell me it can all change...I am perfectly aware of that. And if it does, I will be forever thankful. But for the time being, I am allowed to be mad, sad, etc... Don't tell me that women have babies without their military husbands all of the time, I am also completely aware of that since I have done it! I'm trying to stay positive, I am a generally optimistic person, but from the sounds of it, unless I am able to prove to someone the complications of it all, I may be out of luck.
You have every right to feel all those emotions, and if you didn't - then something would be wrong with you.
ReplyDeleteKeep letting the boys stress you and everything out and maybe you can get that BP to skyrocket which would make them send him home. I'm just sayin'